Struggling with impatience these days. Impatience with my sobriety and impatience with my expectations of life in general.e87f26c6b2e09bfe2dfa353e2640d199--tortoises-recovery-humor

There is a running joke about how people get to their 30s or 40s and realize they’ve either lost sight of their dreams or real life did not turn out be what they imagined.

With my program, I’ve learned that things won’t happen overnight and that I may have to go through the motions before I see or feel results. I guess the same will happen with my personal and spiritual transformation. Maybe those two items are not different.

im-not-an-alcoholic-1_origI’ve been told everything happening right now is meant to be exactly as it is. So my desires and personal needs (from my standpoint) get put on the back burner. Or, maybe I manifest them myself. Stop depending on others to fill my glass; I’ll need to do it myself from now on.

Probably I am over analyzing but I feel like I should act like when I was single. I’m going to have to not only care for myself but have no expectations. If my spouse helps me, great. If not, I will have to find a way to help myself, on my own, without complaint. Be that independent woman I was not too long ago and do it. IMG_20150302_204712

For so long I interpreted my actions by not being so stubborn in asking for help. And now, I’ve asked for so much help, I’ve turned lazy and too dependent.

Here’s hoping this is my rock bottom- that it’s not going to take getting a DUI or losing my job or family in order to hit it.


Road to Health and Wellness

ronda-rousey-do-nothing-bitchRecently I heard a quote from Rhonda Rousey about not being a Do Nothing B!tch and I was inspired. I think I realized- I have recently become a DNB.

I am imparting on a journey I’m not 100% sure I’m ready for- weight loss and health. I once told a trainer, I know I am going to do this at some point, why not start today? I have to take action2011-10-25_08-41-09_700portrait

Part of my target is not worrying too much about the weight number. I am more concerned about how I feel health-wise and how I feel and look in my clothes. I think gaining this weight has helped me learn to appreciate the times I looked good but felt bad about my body image anyway.

I have always been slim. I was skinny as a kid and other than an awkward stage in my teens, I’ve looked slim throughout my life. I lost a healthy amount of weight in my late 20s and felt great! Although I gained some back, I still looked good and felt good.

20150422_092936It was around the time the stock market crashed I began turning to alcohol to relax. Now I’m 44 years old and According to most  calculators, I am about 50-60 pounds overweight! I don’t think I can lose that much, however, I am targeting somewhere around 40 so that my BMI can get back to the 18-25 range.

Right now I am not exercising regularly and I have a drinking problem. I have aches and pains I want to minimize. I am embarrassed to admit what I weigh.

My initial goals are to:

  • Commit myself to the Fast Metabolism Diet and stick to it as closely as I possibly can
  • Start doing yoga againwellness
  • Walk every day for at least 30 minutes
  • Cut off alcohol completely for at least a month, possibly forever
  • Drink 10-12 glasses of water a day.

So here I am on January 5th, 2016, 40-60 pounds overweight depending on what calculator you use.

Disclaimer- I am not saying that people with similar body types are ugly and need to lose weight. I am saying I need to get healthy and I approximate for myself that I will lose around 40 pounds to accomplish this. Wish me luck!

Is a kitten a good unit to measure cuteness?

Answer by Jayesh Lalwani:

No, the correct unit of measuring cuteness is the squee-second. The cuteness is measured in the number of seconds you go SQUEEEE when you see something cute.

Obviously, the squee-second is an logarithmic unit of measure. something that makes you go squee for 2 seconds is twice as cute as something that makes you go squee for 1 second. Something that makes you go squee for 3 seconds is twice as cute as something that makes you go squee for 2 seconds.

Is a kitten a good unit to measure cuteness?

What are some of the best things and life lessons you have learned from an animal?

Answer by Claudia Azula Altucher:

Lolo was a cat that was convinced he was a lion.

He thought he was a lion since the day when he was born, and nothing in the world would make him change his mind.


One day He went outside,

with his smirky cheeky face.

Off he went with his royal lion face!

But the neighbors’ angry dog wanted to have fun, by intimidating the tiny little cat.

The dog came barking loud and tried to give him a scare

But Lolo fought back with a lion’s strength inside

and later he came home, only missing a chunk!   

When I asked him: “What happened?!”

and put potions on his back

he looked at me chin up:

“All is cool, I am a Lion”


On a sunny fall day Lolo roamed all around…

looking for a spot where to take a nap.

And nap he did…

 in the middle of the street!

A huge truck came by but had to stop because of Lolo‘s nap

the driver yelled “Move out“, but nothing was heard back,

so he blew the loud horn hard

but Lolo did not move

and we all knew what he was thinking:

I’m a Lion you go around!”

So the truck had to move back, and then around

while Lolo continued with his sweet little nap…

Lolo never got the memo
that he was a tiny cat

In his soul he always knew
how bright and big he was

He defied dogs and big trucks
and took naps, lots of naps

This story is dedicated to my Father who passed away this year, and who always taught me to believe I was beautiful inside and out, no matter what big truck came my way trying to derail me from my own beauty or what scary dog may try to convince me I was not fine or powerful just the way I am.

It is also dedicated to Lolo who passed away in April of 2008.  Both stories above are real.

Te quiero mucho papi!

What are some of the best things and life lessons you have learned from an animal?